I have enormous oscillations during play. I can play very good first two sets and then easily lost next three. Or I usually play better on tournament in the beginning and then play terrible bad  5-th or 6-th match, being unable to attack or return simple push. I understand that other players also oscillate sometimes, but nobody so much as me. Wooden legs, uncomfortable grip, bad feel in back, missing or hitting with bat edge almost 50% of incoming balls, panic move for push...are some of symptoms. It usually starts with my first serve in match which I usually cant put into table (although I have good serves). It increases with first high push missed or hit into net . I developed some serves hard to read, and most of opponents think it's backspin while it's topspin, and they push , it comes like 50 cm high slow ball with small backspin...and it's opponent's point. Which destroys all my playing strategy and makes me angry.

Worst situation was today, small tournament, opponents mostly have only one shot - push, some of them still learning how to hold the bat...I almost lost two matches in 5th set. In one of them I won easily first two sets 11:0 and 11:3 (simple play, opponent pushes, I loop, he maybe blocks, I smash/loop...it's my style of play) and decided to not be so cruel, to allow him some play. But he started pushing high by bad returns of my serves, and I almost lost match. Nothing high I could return.

...

I remember situation of 10 years ago, I was captain of faculty team in university tt league, we played important match for 1st place in group, I was only third player in our team and really easily beat opponent's 3rd player, he was really bad, knew only push, and in 7th match, decider, my team mate, much better than me, educated player and extra fast penhold looper meet this 'weak'  guy...whatever looper sent to him, serve/drive/push/loop...weaky pushed no less than 1m high, slow and close to net (he couldn't read any serve), my looper missed every of these balloons, despite timeout and changing strategy, we lost a match 4:3. I blamed him for impossible defeat(difference in quality was like between me and Ma Long) . Although older and much more experienced than me he generally never liked loses and when he is criticized (I  understood it too late), he stopped playing (until this, we practiced regularly together).

Now,something  similar happens to me. I wonder...is it a curse...?